goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
