someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
