so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
