so that wasnt chicken after all
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
