I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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