Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my shit smells like andre
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
