I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
