I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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