Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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