i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
