Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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