Kiss
Puke
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i've created a new STD.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
