tell your sister to shave her snatch
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
