well I can't set my house on fire every night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
