....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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