Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
