her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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