i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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