Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
