I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
