oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize