I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
did i just pee glitter
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
