How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
