My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
