ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
