What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
