Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Randomize
