So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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