I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
