I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize