So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
