ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
