he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
