i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
