Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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