i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
