i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
