Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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