That's intense
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
