Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
