I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize