If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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