he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
