Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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