Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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