Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
