I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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