My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
