she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
