She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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