the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
