do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
