There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
