You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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