i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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