After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
