well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
false alarm. still invincible.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
