According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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