she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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