So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
