Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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  (920): I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/8p2f
  Replies (15) Good night (3703) Bad night (691)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens

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  (217): some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens http://tfl.nu/oucj
  Replies (19) Good night (5690) Bad night (610)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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  (780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo
  Replies (14) Good night (4238) Bad night (669)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.

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  (304): I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th. http://tfl.nu/t8ll
  Replies (24) Good night (1262) Bad night (4600)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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  (602): The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..." http://tfl.nu/m7yq
  Replies (12) Good night (3349) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1289) Bad night (8827)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.

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  (920): sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself. http://tfl.nu/ur25
  Replies (16) Good night (10176) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.

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  (613): there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays. http://tfl.nu/8dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (2527) Bad night (801)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (1072) Bad night (2167)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick

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  (774): Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/t99o
  Replies (6) Good night (2282) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?

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  (714): I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/9wpk
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.

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  (330): If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat. http://tfl.nu/hgzf
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.

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  (301): Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited. http://tfl.nu/b9mp
  Replies (2) Good night (750) Bad night (294)
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  (+81): View more from

  On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows

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  (+81): On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows http://tfl.nu/nqax
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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  (817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (300)

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