just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
