Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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  (250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva
  Replies (38) Good night (6333) Bad night (848)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.

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  (405): i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me. http://tfl.nu/gnbi
  Replies (55) Good night (6221) Bad night (781)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

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  (702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter. http://tfl.nu/2ees
  Replies (26) Good night (1982) Bad night (16561)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend

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  (678): Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend http://tfl.nu/u7rd
  Replies (8) Good night (5306) Bad night (1052)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.

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  (814): I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild. http://tfl.nu/qodr
  Replies (9) Good night (5292) Bad night (1051)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.

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  (732): I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time. http://tfl.nu/5sl5
  Replies (7) Good night (5455) Bad night (1234)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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  (630): The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko. http://tfl.nu/k2r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (860)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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  (410): Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink..... http://tfl.nu/vd91
  Replies (13) Good night (932) Bad night (1807)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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  (412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7
  Replies (9) Good night (2066) Bad night (1114)
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  (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  (760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/a5j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1295) Bad night (491)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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  (253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (395)
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  (650): View more from California

  I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.

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  (650): I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words. http://tfl.nu/h8c9
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (386)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable

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  (334): Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable http://tfl.nu/erwp
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (397)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower

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  (416): No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower http://tfl.nu/t3qe
  Replies (0) Good night (718) Bad night (378)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck

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  (419): I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck http://tfl.nu/2n1f
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (113)

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