I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
