A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
